What torn ligaments taught me about reframing negative thoughts before a big moment.
Ever wondered how you could change a negative thought or event around?
This is one of the most brilliant tools that I learned about when I studied Neuro-linguistic programming in 2011, that I use in Coaching sessions and teach to my Leadership and Emotional Intelligence clients: Reframing…
There are at least 2 ways of reframing a negative event:
Reframing method 1: Change the meaning (my moonboot story)
In June 2023, I tore the ligaments in my leg and had to do 2 Keynotes in a moonboot(I walked to the stage on crutches) and cried in the drive to Pretoria and the other in Joburg.
I was in severe pain for a long period and had to sleep with the moonboot on at night, and the pressure built up so badly that at 2 or 3 am I had to urgently rip it off.
At home, my husband said to me, You have to work on your state & reframe this experience. There must be something in here that you can teach others. (He is so wise).
So I brought it into my talk, and said:
My biggest dream in life was working for NASA and becoming an Astronaut; unfortunately, I could only afford one moon boot. The audience was in stitches, and I reframed the meaning away from (woe is me, I am a victim to I actually wanted to be an astronaut, and this is a cool outfit -adding humour.
Reframing method 2: The “not… yet” language pattern
- Write the negative sentence in the positive. What would you rather want to feel or be than what you are experiencing?
- Now put the word NOT in front of it.
So instead of saying: “I am anxious”, you say: “I’m not feeling so calm right now”, “I’m not feeling as brave as I want to be yet.” Your mind won’t hear the word (not) and will focus on the positive words.
The word “yet” presupposes that you will still get there; it is a journey.
Why leaders come to coaching in the first place
- They want to increase their confidence in the boardroom.
- They want to be more influential
- They want to be taken seriously
- Or they have unresolved triggers that are holding them back.
- They want to be confident and speak on stages
- They want a promotion or a career change
Ready to build your boardroom presence?
If you want to:
- Speak with clarity, authority and composure in high-pressure environments
- Structure presentations that are persuasive, focused and outcome-driven
- Deliver messages that resonate across diverse audiences
- Use storytelling to influence thinking and drive action
- Project confidence through voice, presence and delivery
- Handle questions, interruptions and unpredictability with control
- Command both physical and virtual platforms effectively
- Navigate stakeholder dynamics and communicate with strategic intent
Then the Boardroom Impact Coaching programme is for you. Set up a call so I can take you through the programme. This can also be offered as a 1-2 day program at your business.
More on Yoke van Dam
Yoke is known as the Kintsugi Queen® because of her ability to join, grow and transform teams into something quite wonderful. She believes that all teams can grow and transform into collaborative, committed, and cohesive superstars of the organisations they serve. She is a Professional Speaker and a business consultant who will help leaders co-create winning outcomes so that they can unleash their teams’ untapped potential.
She works with leaders who want to effectively articulate and communicate their vision so that their teams buy into it and are prepared to follow them to make sure that vision is achieved. She also works with new, untested leaders who need a strong foundational roadmap of how to work with and lead teams to successful outcomes. She has a strong focus on Emotional Intelligence, building ethical, inspirational leaders and creating meaningful workspaces.
She has 17 years of professional experience developing leaders and teams in South Africa, the UAE and Switzerland. Sectors include: Pharmaceutical, Aluminium, Aviation, Banking, Chemical, Construction, Distribution, Education, Financial Services, Gold Refinery, Labelling, Mining, Pharmaceutical, Publishing, Retail, Salt, Security and Water Purification.
Her specific areas of focus and expertise include:
- Professional speaker on Leadership, influence, team dynamics and emotional intelligence
- Leadership Development
- Team Development Programmes
- Leadership Masterclasses
- The Five Lens Enneagram
- Leadership Coaching
- Presentation skills
- Presentation skills
She has published a white paper on the impact of COVID on leadership and teams, with 65 participants. Media interviews including Prime Live, Radio 702, various local and international podcasts. She has facilitated Women in leadership programs in person and online in Dubai for the UAE market with top-end executives since 2021.
