Have you ever been asked to say a few words at a year-end function for someone’s 60th, 70th, 21st, and even funeral, and you wanted to write something meaningful?
My mom, Santie Barrish, who won ITC many times and was a Toastmistress herself(many moons ago), was recently asked to speak at her friend Deidre’s (70th) birthday.
She has been friends with Deidre for over twenty years and was asked to say a few words at the function.
She reached out asking for a few pointers for her speech, and I have to say, she made me proud! She had great feedback; she wrote and delivered it like a champ (I hear).
This is the structure I gave her: when you start writing a meaningful speech, start reflecting on:
Environment
What happens in this person’s space, what does it look like and who hangs out there?
Can you describe the tastes, smells, how it looks, how it feels, what it sounds like?
Example from Santie Barrish
Imagine, you sit cross legged on your yoga mat, eyes closed, beautiful music in the background. Then a voice says: “take a deep breath in and breathe it out slowly. Four, five, six. ” We are all so privileged to be part of this safe and wonderful space that Deirdre has created for all of us
Behaviour
What does this person typically do?
Skills and capabilities
What are they really good at?
Example from Santie Barrish
After 20 plus years of teaching, she still plans every class carefully and comes up with new routines. At the beginning of each year, we start off with a bang, aiming for at least 24 Tibetans by June.
Example from the speech by Santie Barrish -this refers to her skills of being flexible
Just as Deirdre is flexible in moving in her yoga class, she’s also flexible to make tough decisions if it’s necessary. At the moment, she’s busy to rezone her stand. She also changed the house into different units years ago when it was needed.
Values and beliefs
What is important for this person? What do they spend their time, energy and money on? What do they strongly believe?
Deidre invests in people and animals. She shares in the trials and tribulations of all her friends and students. And gives support and advice. When my granddog Bella, which I had to babysit, got lost, I phoned Deidre in a frenzy. She spoke to me calmly and offered to come and walk with me the next morning at half past five so that we could find Bella. In Afrikaans there’s a saying that say A boer maak a plan… I’ve got a friend who added on: “vra ‘n Engelsman” (ask an englishman)
The love of Deirdre’s life is her four legged family. We know them by name and dare not mess with them. At the end of each class Jamie will come running in for his biscuit.And when it’s a cold day, Maya is in front of the heater, refusing to move, who otherwise goes straight to mommy’s lap.
Identity
Who do they become? Do they have an identity of a parent or a guide? Is there a metaphor that describes them?
Deirdre is a keen reader and we often exchange and discuss books before class. Unfortunately, the yoga class often interferes with our pop up book club.
You can finally go to purpose or move between these topics.
This was her closing paragraph:
Congratulations, Deidre. You have reached a milestone age, and you really inspire us, and we admire the way that you add value to our lives. We just want to wish you happy and a fulfilled future. Deidre belongs to a wine guild, and as we know, wine matures as it ages, and we just want to say, Deidre, we are lucky to know you, and you do likewise.
Thus, in summary, use this structure:
Environment
Behaviour
Skills & Capabilities
Values and beliefs
Identity
Purpose
If you need help, you know who to ask 😉
Didn’t you love the vivid descriptions of Maya, Jamie and Bella?
