Have you ever been in a tricky situation where you needed to calm down another party so they don’t cancel their business with you?
Reframing can be helpful when the other party is in fight-and-flight mode, scared or overwhelmed, and can help resolve a difficult situation.
Why do we reframe? To change the meaning of a negative outcome.
- Reframing 101:
- Our brains can’t hear the word NOT. It simply deletes it.
- Focus on what you want rather than on what you don’t want.
Tip: Our brain can’t hear the word “NOT.” So, if you turn a negative sentence into a positive and add not to it, it makes it psychologically lighter.
For instance: This is “hard” versus This is not easy? Which sounds better?
Sales coaching story
When I was training sales teams full time, I coached a salesperson, and we were out at a client when the client got upset and said: “I’m fed up with you and want to cancel”.
The rep had just taken over the account, and we were there to resolve the issues.
We didn’t want them to cancel, so we reframed his sentence to reflect what we wanted and added NOT in front of it.
So the client said: ” I want to cancel, and I am upset.”
He said, “We can see that you’re unhappy doing business with us and are wondering if you can continue with your contract.”
We added the solution: “We are here to ensure you get the best service possible.”
Had we repeated his words or said: Please don’t cancel; why are you so upset ( it would have caused him to feel even worse and reinforced the idea of cancelling).
Where most people get it wrong is that instead of focusing on the solution you want, they would enhance what they don’t like.
Here is another example:
If a child is tree-climbing and very high up in a tree, you might be scared that they could fall or break their leg. The parents might say, “Don’t fall; you might break your leg.”
What happens in the child’s mind is that it creates a mental picture of falling and hurting itself.
The parent should rather say, “Let me help you down so you can safely get to the ground.”
Add some humor
Last year, I tore the ligaments in my foot and ended up speaking two gigs in a moon boot. One evening, sitting on the couch, unable to exercise, I felt very sorry for myself and realized that my moonboot made me look like an Astronaut.
I used the reframe in my keynote, and the audience loved it.
Sometimes, seeing things from a different perspective lightens our mood. Watch the clip below.
If your client-facing teams need strategies to resolve conflicts, enhance the customer experience, and build rapport with their clients, Y-Connect would love to help.
We work in all areas covered in the blueprint below and offer:
- Keynote presentations at leadership, sales conferences, annual conferences, and lunch and learn sessions.
- Online and in-person training workshops.
- Group and individual coaching packages.
